How to summarize our service in a couple sentences?

Hey, I am doing outreach to communities and trying to get them on board with using our service, which allows individuals to get wholesale prices on products by shopping together. So far, I've been messaging admins on facebook groups with common interests (for instance, manchester tennis) to get their community to use our service. The benefit of this for the clubs: lets say it's the tennis club. Their members can choose lets say a specific racquet that costs 100. If enough members want it, we can get them a group discount where each member can get the racquet for lets say 60, and we can do this with any brand.

I've tried a long pitch, which has been generally ignored. However, I've drafted up this message which has almost an 80% response rate: "Hey NAME, my name is alqop and I'm a student at the University of Amsterdam. I a really cool project to save clubs money shopping for equipment of their choice, and was thinking that it could work really well with your ____ group, if you have a minute to chat about it? Thanks – alqop".

After people express interest in this, is where I lose most people. I am trying to find a good short description to lure them in, but I think I am missing the mark. Something like: "Awesome! So basically, it’s a platform that allows your community members to select what products/brands they want, and then get deals from 20-60% off for each person. It's completely free to use (we only charge merchants a %), and can be a fun way to engage your club members! So for your tennis team, members can select let's say the latest Wilson tennis racquet, and we can get them each wholesale prices on them. Further, they can select any non-tennis related items as well, like Dysons, GoPros, coffeemakers, etc. If you'd like to set up a quick call for a more detailed description, here's my number xx-xxx-xxxx, thanks!"

The website is (check out the UK version as it's the most active). If you have any suggestions for me please let me know! Our target is in the UK for now, and we are targeting communities, since they generally have the same interests and should be easy to find 10 or so people that want the same item.

Thank you in advance!

submitted by /u/Alqop

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